dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
