I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
