K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
