someone owes me an orgasm
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
