3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I think people are normalizing furries
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
