i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
