I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
