You're my little dorito
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Randomize
