pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
We need to rekindle our bromance
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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