Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize