We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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