Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
