There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
