Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
