omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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