he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
