my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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