no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
