I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
