Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I need water and some morals
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
