Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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