I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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