you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
