No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize