i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
