he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
