come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
