it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
