Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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