would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
