So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
