If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
