I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
