IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
