my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wish i was in the wii world.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Girls should come with a carfax report
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
