question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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