so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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