My brain says no but my pants say off.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
