Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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