Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
