The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
