Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
