Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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