you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
