Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I need water and some morals
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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