honey bunches of taint.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
In other news, I just burned my penis
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
