office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize