marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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