You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize