Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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