Betty ford says i'm here all night
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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