You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
