Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
