to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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