the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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