wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
