he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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