check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
