He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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