is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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